Every now and then, we, or at least most of us, receive a message of some kind that we have done something, (or possibly NOT done something), that has either hurt or offended another person. This message can come at a time when we are feeling very good about what is going on in our lives, or it can come at a time when we’re not feeling so good. Whenever we receive the message and in whatever form it comes, it is usually a difficult message to receive. If we genuinely care about others and value our relationships, learning about something we’ve done (or not done) to cause pain for someone else can definitely be a painful wake-up call. The realization can often be a shock to our systems. The fact is, however, that each of us, in our own way, can “hurt” someone else, either intentionally or unintentionally… and it is our loved ones, the ones we’re closest to, that we can hurt the most – our husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, children, grandchildren, dear friends. We can – by doing something or not doing something, by saying something or not saying something, by not “being there” or “being there” too much – deeply hurt the ones we love and care about the most. And very often, it is not intentionally… Living life and loving our dearest loved ones in the best way possible can, at times, be a delicate balancing act – a balancing act that is imperfect… because we, as people, are imperfect. We are human. And in being human, we are far from being perfect.
Sometimes, with this “shock” of our responsibility in causing pain for someone else and our pain that goes along with it, we can try to deny our place in it all. We can try to “cover up” our own hurt with anger and denial… We can try to “sweat” it out, or “drink” it out, or “eat” it out, or “shop” it out. There are many ways in which we can try to rid ourselves of this pain… but most of those methods don’t really work, at least not for long. The pain comes back again and it won’t go away. It is a constant pain in the pit of our stomach that continues to call to us…

Perhaps, in the midst of all of this, we will, at some point in time, come to the huge realization that we are not “perfect” and that no matter how hard we try to smooth over the flaws and cover up the bad, ugly stuff, we never will be… perfect! We make mistakes, knowingly and unknowingly, and we say and do the wrong things even if we don’t mean to… We can apologize for our wrongdoings, we can hope to be the best person we can possibly be in the future, we can love with all of our hearts and give generously of ourselves, we can learn from our mistakes and try to be better people… but we will never, ever be PERFECT! We are only human, after all. We are innately imperfect! Accepting this fact… and looking to our God and asking for His help, finding truth in His love and strength and guidance, and accepting that His help is the answer… is, in my view, the most important step in helping the pain to go away. In my view, it is the only way to really move on with our lives… with hope and peace and grace. We will, most likely, make more mistakes. It is a part of life… part of being human. Yet, even with that in mind, we must go on and live our lives to the fullest – loving and giving to the best of our abilities. We must move on and do the best we can, as human beings, to try to make our world a better place, to love and help our fellow man… We must put one foot in front of the other, step by step, to try to do the best job we can in this life in the best way we know how. We may fall and we may fail at times… and we probably will, for we are human and imperfect, but we must never stop trying.

~ Carole Carter – words and photograph